Heroic Task of Menopausal Women

Women are unique beings. We go through many phases in our life, on this heroic feminine journey. First the transformation from child to adolescent, the budding body, the menstrual cycle, initiating us into the blood mysteries.

Then for some, pregnancy and childbirth - the complete transformation of our bodies to harbor for a new life, the giving over of oneself to another, as Joseph Campbell says, transformation from maiden to mother. This has always implied a bit of risk and danger, and loss of blood; less so in contemporary times in most countries. Still, it is a major change, sometimes inconvenient (when you can't bend over to tie your shoes), causing mood swings and happiness and sacrifice, joy and frustration. Breastfeeding can be joyful but oh so life-changing in terms of our schedule and lifestyle adjustments.

Then, we're not done changing. The Change arrives sometimes in our mid-forties, announces itself gently or loudly, pushes and pulls us in hormonal swings, hot and cold, yet again. This time, the blood is on its way out. And greater wisdom or connection to our intuition is coming in. Something is lost, but something important is gained.  A woman is ripe with her own knowing, learns to speak up for herself, embodies compassion if she is gentle with herself.

Women are unique, yes, and I believe it is a woman's goal or task to learn awareness of her cycle all the way along - from birth to menarche, from giving birth to menopause.

This blog and Musemother blog (where I more frequently write) address that rite of passage. I believe the most important tool a woman has is her self-awareness, and journal writing is a beautiful tool for knowing oneself.

The Tao of Turning Fifty will launch on Amazon by Feb. 9 (next week), and every woman in her forties (and sixties) will benefit from the information in this book, from Where Did My Libido Go, to I Need to Get Away, Why Rest is Radical and Tools for Inner Guidance, this workbook allows you to journal along with it, and answer your own questions.  Enjoy the journey. A link will be posted on the website www.jenniferboire.com as soon as it is ready. Many of the chapters in this book came from the blog.

Wise women — repositors of information and wisdom

Have you considered the positive aspects of menopause? There is a strong cultural bias in the West towards 'ageism' or fear of aging. But in other cultures, as women hit menopause they are revered and looked up to:


Across indigenous cultures, from the Maori in New Zealand to the Iroquois Indians, post-menopausal women are community leaders with considerable power and status. To these people, menopause itself is the transition between being a member of the community at large to becoming a spiritual elder.

A common belief among traditional shamanic cultures — for example, Mayan women and the Cree women of Canada — is that women must enter menopause to access their shamanic and healing powers. Menstrual blood has the power to create life in the womb, so when women reach the age of retaining their “wise blood,” they cross the threshold into “wise womanhood” by keeping their wise blood within. At this point they become priestesses and healers — the spiritual leaders of their communities.

Wise women have earned this leadership role because women have greater “reproductive” success if, in middle age, we cease production of new children and focus on investing in our children’s children. This in turn impacts the population and success of the entire community.

information found on www.womentowomen.com web site

Cut off from her depths

"It is difficult in life to find the Feminine Realm. The drawing of the water, the gathering of the grains no longer are performed under an open sky. ...The sense of her task as consecrated and necessary to the cosmos is gone. And I fear for women yet to come. For under the pressures of modern life, time has become compressed. The feminine sense of time has all but disappeared. Yet woman cannot exist with only a linear awareness of time, for her sense of sacred Kairos time is the precious essene of life. there must be time enough for her to experience the sacredness within each moment and within herself...." Judith Duerk, I sit listening to the wind (also author of Circle of Stones)

According to Duerk, we have modeled ourselves on the Masculine, but the heroic task/journey of the Masculine can not provide what a woman needs to complete the journey of the conscious and devleoped Feminine.....

"When a woman uses her energy only to reinforce what is outside of herself, she becomes cut off from her depths. her own feelings and life values become inaccessible to her. She molds herself to external standards and loses touch with her individuality. She is cut off from all that is uniquely her own that could nourish her and those around her, cut off from the creative new answers so badly need in the world today.

Cut off from her deeper sense of life, from the wisdom of her own unconscious, she lives in an arid approvable way. and her depths become enraged! the whole wellspring of womanly creativity within her is furious for not being tapped. and the greater the individuality and insight that have been dammed up, the greater the rage!

A woman speaks: My grandmother, my mother and me...only allowed to smile and agree. Only allowed to affirm what was initiated around us, never allowed ourselves to initiate.

If grandmother tried to disagree, she became hysterical. And mother swung between hysteria and opinionated animus, with no grounded Feminine ego between them. She was enraged that the men could never hear what she was unable to say.

All those generations of women in my lineage using our energy in service to a system that had so litle tolerance for Feminine feelings and values. Caught amidst all this, I was depressed and cut off from myself, with no energy for the causes I had believe in only haf a year before. then my judging animus did its foul double-play, first dmaining me for my depression, than blaming me for having served so long what had not served me."

I Sit Listening to the Wind, Judith Duerk


I am living this battle with the animus this week, judging myself harshly, striving to compete, prepare, be on time, get things done, and running steamroller over my own feelings, tiredness, need for quiet time.

Finally, today, I opened this book, and felt a tear trickle down on reading the first opening paragraphs. yes, my body is saying, you have been tricked into this harsh attitude of performance and perfectionism, and you whip yourself, because you put no faith in your own feelings, emotions, or heart side. Focused on doing instead of being, you hurt yourself, and the neck acts up. Freezes up, cramps and gets so sore, I have to quit working and rest.....

ah, rest. It's a snow day today, go back to the circle of light under the lamp, the comfy gold suede chair, and the warmth of a puppy lying beside you, relax and read, and dream your own thoughts.....

nameste,
musemother