Menopause and Sex

"We are all born sexual beings, from the moment we are born till the day we die. Whether or not we are in a sexual relationship with another person, we can feel good in our bodies, appreciate sensual pleasures, and learn what excites us sexually. Our sexuality has the potential to be a powerful and positive force in our lives, filling us with energy and deepening our most intimate connections."

- Our Bodies, Ourselves: A New Edition for a New Era

There are million and one ways to find pleasure as a menopausal or peri-menopausal woman. Even if you think there is nothing left of your libido, don't give up on yourself. Sex is one of the few pleasures that doesn't make you fat or raise your cholesterol, so you'd think more women would indulge.

Part of low libido could be from fatigue, from overwork, from not wanting to give into one more demand on our fragile ecosystem. I think women are used to 'putting out' as they call it, instead of being able to receive.

One day on Oprah 2 years ago, I heard Dr. Christiane Nortrhup talk about how we can revisualize our whole bodies as an erogenous zone, not just the genitalia. It takes some imagination, some dream time, but you can use whatever props or visual aids you need to help you feel excited again about sex. Sometimes, what a woman needs is some self-loving, and for some of us, an extra aid to achieve that goal.

If you are also interested in the environment, here is a website with some eco-friendly sex toys:www.ecosex.ca . which I found on the redtent sisters website.www.redtentsisters.com

10 Best Things about Menopause

"The joy of menopause is the world's best-kept secret. Like venturing through the gateway to enter an ancient temple, in order to claim that joy a woman must be willing to pass beyond the monsters who guard its gate. As you stand at the brink of it, it can appear that only darkness, danger and decay lie beyond...but as thousands of woman from all cultures throughout history have whispered to each other, it is the most exciting passage a woman ever makes." Leslie Kenton, Passage to Power

The Ten Best Things about Menopause are:

1. Freedom to have sex without worry of getting pregnant, No more birth control.
2. Rediscovering my own interests, now that my children have grown older.
3. Rediscovering my life as a couple, more time for just the two of us (see #1).
4. Time alone: indulging in my need for time alone without guilt.
5. Finding my Voice: having a say, speaking my truth, speaking up.
6. Creativity Sparked: letting go of the old, making room for the new creative spirit.
7. Knowing my own body, getting comfortable with its shapes, quirks, needs
8. Growing my intuition, claiming my women's wisdom.
9. Healing time: allowing myself to rest, nap or do nothing; pampering myself without feeling guilty. Sometimes it's all about me
10. Inner Journey: looking deeply, listening, writing, reflecting on the inner life becomes a need.

What are your 10 best things?

jenn

Sex and menopause

Normally, I don't discuss my private sex life on this blog, nor do I often push products, but this one is an important 'ally' in my bedroom. Without it, we simply do not have sex, at least not in the way we are used to.

What is the miracle product that has saved our sex life? Sexy Ganja, a personal lubricant, as it says on the package, made from hemp oil.

I have tried the petroleum jelly kinds - the KY and the Astro Glide, and they all left me feeling too sensitive, a little burning sensation. I hadn't even considered looking in the health food store for such a thing, and was pretty much giving up on having sex, period, due to dryness and irritation.

This is a free promo for this natural product, and I'm not even being paid to promote it!

Ladies, menopause is a time of major changes. Some of us breeze through apparently, but every single one of my friends in their late 40's and early 50's has shared some or all of the same symptoms as me. I put up with hot flashes (found a herbal remedy made with red clover), insomnia, (eventually went away), nerves & mood swings (motherwort tincture) and general brain fuzziness (haven't mastered that one yet), but this one put a serious dent in my love life, with ramifications for our relationship greater than all the others combined.

I have tried other long term solutions, drinking herbal teas (oatstraw for libido), and herbal supplements (for adrenal fatigue) with varying success (I mostly don't take them consistently enough). But this jelly does the trick. And it's quick.

So without going into further detail, let me just say that according to my doctor (and Dr. Christiane Northrup on Oprah last week), the only thing we can do is "use it or lose it". There are multiple ways of thinking and being orgasmic, and even a few chi-gong exercises you can do to direct loving energy from your 'high' heart to your 'low heart', as demonstratsed by Dr Northrup on national tv. But if you just want a quick fix, try some sexy ganja.

(Smoking the stuff may do the same thing, but I haven't tried that lately.)

Enjoy your sex life, think sexy thoughts, be your own best pleasuring buddy, and bottom line, don't give up! You are still a sexy red-hot mama!!

nameste,
jenn