A good friend of mine is turning 50 next week - a real milestone - and we are celebrating together. Some of us are wondering what an appropriate gift would be. A massage, a spa day, a new yoga mat, something to comfort and nurture her, for all the comforting and nurturing she has given over the years.
She is in peri-menopause, and I think I will suggest when she hits that milestone that we hold a Ms Menopause Party. Instead of fearing and cringing at our body's aging and changing, let's celebrate it properly, with a sense of humour!
While googling menopause jokes and parties, I found several good ideas which I've gathered and compiled here, so you can create your own :
Provide battery powered fans (dollar store)
Decorate with red and pink, candles, decor
Ask everyone to dress in their favourite Hot Red outfit
Find appropriate music, like the song "Hot hot hot"
and the Red Hot Chile Peppers
Have everyone bring their favourite menopause joke and read them
(there are plenty on the internet)
Serve hot spicy wings, red hot candies, red watermelon, chili with red kidney beans,
or go the other way entirely and serve only Way Too Cool drinks and food
Have lots of ice on hand
Cosmos are red!
Here's one of the jokes I like:
Question: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: One! ONLY ONE! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL!
I'm sorry. What was the question?
Whew! my anxiety went up reading that one.....
seriously though, throw yourself or a girlfriend a party, crown her with a Paper Crone Crown, and let her know she can call you up in the middle of a hot flash....or leave home temporarily when she feels like she's going insane.
Just know that it does get better, and sharing it with your friends makes it easier.
4 years past the hot flashes, and counting,
musemother
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Menopause Poem
A Poem for Jane turning Fifty
Crow’s feet lay tracks, marking
us Crone (although we hate the word)
but we still know the way to
the source,
where
the fountain wells:
drink deep.
Grow young,
in heart.
Wise in Crow Mother’s ways.
Crow’s feet lay tracks, marking
us Crone (although we hate the word)
but we still know the way to
the source,
where
the fountain wells:
drink deep.
Grow young,
in heart.
Wise in Crow Mother’s ways.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Follow-up on thyroid
No, my thyroid is fine. That pressure you feel at your throat is anxiety, dear, says the good doctor.
Hmmm....
What I do know is that I can relax my jaw and open my throat without fear.
Singing while relaxed is so much more fun anyway.
Let whatever energies are blocked flow.
These words from "I am a woman finding her own voice" resonated with me today....
"Trying to protect myself from these dangers {of looking foolish, being rejected, of loving, losing love, of being vulnerable} by being overly careful or withdrawn limits me and my spontaneity; it makes me fearful and tight insead of relaxed and open. Life becomes much less fun and much more exhausting...My true safety lies not in keeping myself out of danger by avoiding THE RISKS OF FULLY ENGAGING IN LIFE, but by remembering that no matter what life brings me, I am strong enough, smart enough, loving enough, vital enough, intersted and curious enough to handle, learn and grow from it."
Hmmm....
What I do know is that I can relax my jaw and open my throat without fear.
Singing while relaxed is so much more fun anyway.
Let whatever energies are blocked flow.
These words from "I am a woman finding her own voice" resonated with me today....
"Trying to protect myself from these dangers {of looking foolish, being rejected, of loving, losing love, of being vulnerable} by being overly careful or withdrawn limits me and my spontaneity; it makes me fearful and tight insead of relaxed and open. Life becomes much less fun and much more exhausting...My true safety lies not in keeping myself out of danger by avoiding THE RISKS OF FULLY ENGAGING IN LIFE, but by remembering that no matter what life brings me, I am strong enough, smart enough, loving enough, vital enough, intersted and curious enough to handle, learn and grow from it."
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Breasts,Hormones and Menopause
Did you know that your breasts have a monthly cycle too? Not only do our uteruses slough off old cells every month, but the ducts and glands in our breasts are also going through a monthly flux, according to this article written by the doctors at
http://www.womentowomen.com/breasthealth/fibrocysticbreasts-hormones.aspx.
I find it fascinating that we know so little about our own bodies, and am grateful to the dedicated scientists who are doing research to discover how we can maintain optimal health for all our parts.
I have been going to get yearly mamograms since the age of 45, because of a maternal aunt who had breast cancer. It's a special clinic in Montreal with high quality thermograph machines as well as the 'breast squishing' radiation.
While I want to care about my health, and have yearly check-ups with a GP, this past year I cancelled the mammogram. Every two years will give me less radiation exposure, and I will continue with the monthly self-exam.
Plus, in the above linked article, I discovered some self-care tips that I can do at home to take care of 'the girls'.
First of all, get to know them, their lumps and bumps, and if you have fibrocystic breasts, know that you can even give them a nice massage to help with the cleansing and circulation of lymph in the body.
At menopause the hormones are stabilizing, and so you may have fewer symptoms of bloating and swelling with pain.
But if you have breast pain, evening primorose oil has been shown to be helpful.
A diet lower in animal fat and processed meats, with no trans fats, and organic dairy, eggs and meat will promote good breast health.
Things to avoid: salt, alcohol, caffeine, chocolate, (tea also). White sugar and flour, natch.
Things to increase: veggies, fruit, fiber from whole grains, beans and seeds.
Natural diuretics: cucumbers, celery and parsley.
Multi-vitamins, and daily exercise to keep the lymph circulating in the body.
Most of this is well-known and common sense.
One thing the article brings up is the role of iodine in our diets - and since our thyroids are acting up sometimes at menopause, it may be a good idea to get your iodine levels tested as well. (read the article for a full explanation).
Most of all, love your breasts and treat them tenderly, not with fear, as you check them each month. Soon there may be a blood test for breast cancer, so we won't need this ritual, which is sometimes a bit fear inducing.
take good care,
musemother
http://www.womentowomen.com/breasthealth/fibrocysticbreasts-hormones.aspx.
I find it fascinating that we know so little about our own bodies, and am grateful to the dedicated scientists who are doing research to discover how we can maintain optimal health for all our parts.
I have been going to get yearly mamograms since the age of 45, because of a maternal aunt who had breast cancer. It's a special clinic in Montreal with high quality thermograph machines as well as the 'breast squishing' radiation.
While I want to care about my health, and have yearly check-ups with a GP, this past year I cancelled the mammogram. Every two years will give me less radiation exposure, and I will continue with the monthly self-exam.
Plus, in the above linked article, I discovered some self-care tips that I can do at home to take care of 'the girls'.
First of all, get to know them, their lumps and bumps, and if you have fibrocystic breasts, know that you can even give them a nice massage to help with the cleansing and circulation of lymph in the body.
At menopause the hormones are stabilizing, and so you may have fewer symptoms of bloating and swelling with pain.
But if you have breast pain, evening primorose oil has been shown to be helpful.
A diet lower in animal fat and processed meats, with no trans fats, and organic dairy, eggs and meat will promote good breast health.
Things to avoid: salt, alcohol, caffeine, chocolate, (tea also). White sugar and flour, natch.
Things to increase: veggies, fruit, fiber from whole grains, beans and seeds.
Natural diuretics: cucumbers, celery and parsley.
Multi-vitamins, and daily exercise to keep the lymph circulating in the body.
Most of this is well-known and common sense.
One thing the article brings up is the role of iodine in our diets - and since our thyroids are acting up sometimes at menopause, it may be a good idea to get your iodine levels tested as well. (read the article for a full explanation).
Most of all, love your breasts and treat them tenderly, not with fear, as you check them each month. Soon there may be a blood test for breast cancer, so we won't need this ritual, which is sometimes a bit fear inducing.
take good care,
musemother
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Singing my truth and thyroid
“Relax your jaw”, commands Grandmother Growth as her strong fingers carefully encircle and sensitively touch your throat. Do you know there’s a butterfly in here?
A butterfly that can literally change how you perceive the world. As you change, it changes, too. During menopause its pulsation is slower. Its ability to give voice to the truth increases, becomes insistent.
Be still, dearest granddaughter. Turn off the radio, the TV the stereo, the phone. Her voice is firm and strong. Then listen carefully to the murmurs and screams of your own truth. Accept your psyche’s need to turn in, to grieve, to rage. You will emerge stronger and wiser. (from Menopause the Wise Woman Way, Susun Weed).
see the butterfly shaped thyroid at the throat chakra
may she spread her wings!
see the butterfly shaped thyroid at the throat chakra
may she spread her wings!
My singing teacher has been asking me to relax my determination and loosen the jaw so I can sing.
My reike practitioner has been noticing blocked throat energy and creative energy, and asks if I sing for love or for duty to the choir. She recommends singing to the lake, or in the woods.
And now with this internet picture, I can see my little butterfly is singing from within, her wings wide open in my throat. I want to give her voice.
My doctor took blood tests last week, and one of them was thyroid. She wants to see me again next week, and made an appointment for me so it must be urgent. If it’s my thyroid talking, I will listen. I am listening to the butterfly’s wings.
more on this issue next week,
jenn/musemother
Monday, May 25, 2009
Peri-menopausal wisdom and self-care
“In peri-menopause our brains are being rewired to live with more inner wisdom, to adapt to a more direct current (intuition); and we may experience insomnia, forgetfulness and depression. It takes a great deal of courage and faith to go through this change, and some women go through painful breakdowns before they are ready to relinquish the struggle for control.”
The Wisdom of Menopause, Dr. Christiane Northrup
Before we hit menopause, there is a long period of transition called peri-menopause. For some women it's like a second adolescence, an emotional and hormonal roller-coaster. For others it's a non-event.
For myself it was the mother of all wake-up calls as Dr. Northrup calls it. The first symptom, that I wouldn't have imagined was connected was a huge increase in the length and severity of my PMS. Some authors have likened this premenstrual period to a lightning rod for unfinished business. It is a warning to be heeded: if self-care is minimal, PMS increases.
Personally, I found it increased to almost two weeks out of the month! The year I noticed it, my father had recently died, I was 49, and my kids were hitting their obnoxious, sullen teen years. Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to see a family counselor and get some help managing my emotions, which were very explosive. Teens or not, I did not want my children to suffer the brunt of the unpredictable outbursts. After a few months of weekly talk therapy, I could feel the difference. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders (I was struggling with bursitis and sore neck at the time) as years of self-protective armour were being peeled off me. And I also noticed my PMS diminishing, except for some irritability on the day of ovulation and mild crankiness a day or two before my period, like before.
“All the emotional and psychological change of the peri-menopausal years are to the entire life cycle as the week before one’s period is to the monthly cycle. All the issues that have been occurring pre-menstrually and which perhaps had been avoided till now- should I quit my job? Should I stay in this relationship – now come up and hit us between the eyes rather relentlessly, demanding that they be dealt with at this time.” (Wisdom of Menopause).
So consider this time of peri-menopause as a Big Bright Flashing Light on the highway saying, Slow Down. Self-Care Needed Ahead. Major construction going on, re-wiring of brain and emotional sensitivity underway. Proceed with Caution.
Do not drive carelessly or quickly through this 'rough patch'. Heed the signals, give yourself the time off, the down time or the journalling time you need to get in touch with your own needs. Women who mother others (whether they are your children, your parents, or co-workers) are especially in need of self-care, because they normally have spent a life-time forgetting about themselves, and putting others' needs first.
Don't hit the brakes too fast - don't skid on the road. Just incorporate some self-care tips from a previous article on www.questinggirl.blogspot.com Seven Tips- Tools for Gaining Essential Wisdom, and if you care to, browse this blog for the many tips and articles on all aspects of menopause.
Coming shortly, more excerpts from A Woman's Way, A Guidebook for Peri-menopause.
nameste
jenn/musemother
The Wisdom of Menopause, Dr. Christiane Northrup
Before we hit menopause, there is a long period of transition called peri-menopause. For some women it's like a second adolescence, an emotional and hormonal roller-coaster. For others it's a non-event.
For myself it was the mother of all wake-up calls as Dr. Northrup calls it. The first symptom, that I wouldn't have imagined was connected was a huge increase in the length and severity of my PMS. Some authors have likened this premenstrual period to a lightning rod for unfinished business. It is a warning to be heeded: if self-care is minimal, PMS increases.
Personally, I found it increased to almost two weeks out of the month! The year I noticed it, my father had recently died, I was 49, and my kids were hitting their obnoxious, sullen teen years. Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to see a family counselor and get some help managing my emotions, which were very explosive. Teens or not, I did not want my children to suffer the brunt of the unpredictable outbursts. After a few months of weekly talk therapy, I could feel the difference. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders (I was struggling with bursitis and sore neck at the time) as years of self-protective armour were being peeled off me. And I also noticed my PMS diminishing, except for some irritability on the day of ovulation and mild crankiness a day or two before my period, like before.
“All the emotional and psychological change of the peri-menopausal years are to the entire life cycle as the week before one’s period is to the monthly cycle. All the issues that have been occurring pre-menstrually and which perhaps had been avoided till now- should I quit my job? Should I stay in this relationship – now come up and hit us between the eyes rather relentlessly, demanding that they be dealt with at this time.” (Wisdom of Menopause).
So consider this time of peri-menopause as a Big Bright Flashing Light on the highway saying, Slow Down. Self-Care Needed Ahead. Major construction going on, re-wiring of brain and emotional sensitivity underway. Proceed with Caution.
Do not drive carelessly or quickly through this 'rough patch'. Heed the signals, give yourself the time off, the down time or the journalling time you need to get in touch with your own needs. Women who mother others (whether they are your children, your parents, or co-workers) are especially in need of self-care, because they normally have spent a life-time forgetting about themselves, and putting others' needs first.
Don't hit the brakes too fast - don't skid on the road. Just incorporate some self-care tips from a previous article on www.questinggirl.blogspot.com Seven Tips- Tools for Gaining Essential Wisdom, and if you care to, browse this blog for the many tips and articles on all aspects of menopause.
Coming shortly, more excerpts from A Woman's Way, A Guidebook for Peri-menopause.
nameste
jenn/musemother
Monday, May 4, 2009
Menopause and Mothering
Dear menopausal babes and mothers,
Hope you all are taking good care of yourselves.
There is no better remedy (ready-me as my friend Susan says) than self-care, self-love.
You may be going through an up and down time, an inside-out time, a feeling upside down time.
The way you care for yourself is indicative of the way you care for others, and vice-versa.
Can you stop for a moment, and remember the last time you gave yourself an encouraging word, a big hug, a moment of stillness and reflection, a minute to listen in? I read recently that stopping for 5 minutes to look out the window was a great stress reliever. Getting outside at lunch time instead of eating hunched over your desk is also a great thing to do, especially in Spring. Talking to a friend reduces high blood pressure and feelings of overwhelm.
You are the only vehicle you have to get to the other shore, wherever that is. Drive it with care. Don't keep your foot on the brake pedal, don't rev up the engine and pop wheelies all the time either. Take it slow and easy, whenever possible, especially during this Make-over Transitional time in your life.
Listen to your body's wisdom, listen to your gut feeling. It never lies. It expects less of you than you imagine. It just wants time to play, as well as time to work. It wants time to have fun, time to undo the 'should's, time to work out the knots in your shoulders. Time to breathe, time to stretch, time to take in the beauty of this moment.
Take the time, ladies, cause it doesn't come around again. This time is your time.
Your children and families will appreciate a calmer, happier you, so please take care.
Enjoy the Mother's Day message - you do make a difference to someone. You are special, and you are worth taking care of :)
hugs and wishes for loving kindness,
jenn/musemother
Hope you all are taking good care of yourselves.
There is no better remedy (ready-me as my friend Susan says) than self-care, self-love.
You may be going through an up and down time, an inside-out time, a feeling upside down time.
The way you care for yourself is indicative of the way you care for others, and vice-versa.
Can you stop for a moment, and remember the last time you gave yourself an encouraging word, a big hug, a moment of stillness and reflection, a minute to listen in? I read recently that stopping for 5 minutes to look out the window was a great stress reliever. Getting outside at lunch time instead of eating hunched over your desk is also a great thing to do, especially in Spring. Talking to a friend reduces high blood pressure and feelings of overwhelm.
You are the only vehicle you have to get to the other shore, wherever that is. Drive it with care. Don't keep your foot on the brake pedal, don't rev up the engine and pop wheelies all the time either. Take it slow and easy, whenever possible, especially during this Make-over Transitional time in your life.
Listen to your body's wisdom, listen to your gut feeling. It never lies. It expects less of you than you imagine. It just wants time to play, as well as time to work. It wants time to have fun, time to undo the 'should's, time to work out the knots in your shoulders. Time to breathe, time to stretch, time to take in the beauty of this moment.
Take the time, ladies, cause it doesn't come around again. This time is your time.
Your children and families will appreciate a calmer, happier you, so please take care.
Enjoy the Mother's Day message - you do make a difference to someone. You are special, and you are worth taking care of :)
hugs and wishes for loving kindness,
jenn/musemother
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