A good friend of mine is turning 50 next week - a real milestone - and we are celebrating together. Some of us are wondering what an appropriate gift would be. A massage, a spa day, a new yoga mat, something to comfort and nurture her, for all the comforting and nurturing she has given over the years.
She is in peri-menopause, and I think I will suggest when she hits that milestone that we hold a Ms Menopause Party. Instead of fearing and cringing at our body's aging and changing, let's celebrate it properly, with a sense of humour!
While googling menopause jokes and parties, I found several good ideas which I've gathered and compiled here, so you can create your own :
Provide battery powered fans (dollar store)
Decorate with red and pink, candles, decor
Ask everyone to dress in their favourite Hot Red outfit
Find appropriate music, like the song "Hot hot hot"
and the Red Hot Chile Peppers
Have everyone bring their favourite menopause joke and read them
(there are plenty on the internet)
Serve hot spicy wings, red hot candies, red watermelon, chili with red kidney beans,
or go the other way entirely and serve only Way Too Cool drinks and food
Have lots of ice on hand
Cosmos are red!
Here's one of the jokes I like:
Question: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: One! ONLY ONE! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL!
I'm sorry. What was the question?
Whew! my anxiety went up reading that one.....
seriously though, throw yourself or a girlfriend a party, crown her with a Paper Crone Crown, and let her know she can call you up in the middle of a hot flash....or leave home temporarily when she feels like she's going insane.
Just know that it does get better, and sharing it with your friends makes it easier.
4 years past the hot flashes, and counting,
musemother
1 comment:
This is hysterical! I used to be part of a show in Buffalo, NY, "Diva By Diva," in which women of all ages and talents (singers, joke tellers, fun ladies) gathered each Weds. night. Many men were in the audience as well, and we always gave them props from the stage. I was their piano player and wrote songs, etc. But that joke was a standard, because it was running around the Web.
I am a Susun Weed-style crone but have never had a party. Now in Madison, WI, I know plenty of hip crones who OWN IT, and I may throw a group crowning party.
Love this and will keep checking in. I'm a poet, jazz singer, and my hubby is a pastor and my daughter is a proud OUT "gender queer" at 24. Typical American family, no? Hope you enjoy this poem, on your theme:
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2010/10/21/changing/
Feel free to comment!
Love, Amy Barlow Liberatore, Crone
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